Lok! I rote a benshmark!

Hey smart peepoles! Lookie here! I rote a code that can be utilised to see how much more wirst your favorite language is dan minez!!! Lookey!

Language Minez

short startTime = Clock.getcompooterClok().whatTimeIsIt()
Console.getTurminalz().riteLetters << "Hi Momma!"
short stopTime = Clock.getcompooterClok().whatTimeIsIt()
Console.getTurminalz().riteStuff << "It only tooks " &lt;&lt; (stopTime - startTime) << "!!!"

Language Yourz

<target name="go">
   <script>
      long startTime = System.currentTimeMillis()
      StringBuffer message = new StringBuffer()
      System.out.println "" + message.append("Hi Momma!").toString()
      long stopTime = System.currentTimeMillis()
      System.out.println "Look howe much more longer it tok here " + (stopTime - startTime)
   </script>
</target>

Here are the times, no lie:
My Favorite toy: 203ms
Your Dumb Syntax that you like: 4851ms

See! It’s obvious that MinezScript is way more JohnBlaze than your dumb language that you like!! More John Blaze in every way! I don’t even see why they still make your dumb language that you like!

That’s what I saw posted on a WordPress blog tonight. I’m not even going to link to the site because it’s just not worth it. If I see one more dumb performance analysis, or language comparison like that I’m going to dress the author in an A1 steak sauce jersey and throw him into a pool of gravy surrounded by hungry lions. People still think a benchmark surrounding a single line of code executed multiple times is enough to draw a sensible conclusion on whether or not to use a given technology.