Hall Of Aim


Welcome to my “Hall of Planetary Aim”. The following are people who have contributed in one way or another to my ongoing quest towards world domination. The names and contributions are listed in no particular order.Marvin the Martian

Meryln
Keeps encouraging me to write more insane blog entries. Little does he know that each entry brings me closer towards vanquishing his beloved planet.

Tiago
Hath awaken me from a long blogging slumber thus enabling me to regain focus on crushing this planet. I will use his marbles to empower my XML fusion ray in my final conquest.

Kropotkin
Keeps complimenting me on my insane blog entries. Kropotkin is unaware that my plans are to initially target motorcycle and Harley shops around the world.

Dorai
Assumes we have similar intrests. If his plans also involve world domination then he would be considered an arch nemisis.

The Hoskinator
…was one of the first to discover me and my evil plight. I plan to eventually dispatch an army of Hoskinator-like androids which will enslave the human race forcing each individual to trade in their Ruby skills and work on my revised Groovy programming language which will be implemented in RPG.Net on the Windows Vista Extreme-Pro platform. Other enslaved people will build my new iSeries 6 GT super-computer out of twigs and barley working 12 hour shifts. Life will be hard but tolerable.

Rory
Mentioned my name once on his site. Ever since then my ego has double the size of his. I would place him in charge of building my Hoskinators were his mental condition not so severe.

To be considered for recruitment into my army of XSL soldiers fill out the box below. Include your name, date of birth, telephone, social security number and a breif description of any existing health conditions. Heart or lung problems will not necessarily disqualify you from recruitment. All applications will be considered on a first come first serve basis and your confidentiality will be respected (initially).

9 Comments

  1. If you take out the Harleys, you have my full support. Harleys are a lifestyle accessory, as opposed to a motorcycle. Think of them as the Vanilla Ice of the motorcycle world.

  2. What’s wrong with Vanilla Ice???!!! Are you saying that he is as disposable in my scenario as your beloved Harleys???!!! Vanilla Ice is an excellent entertainer and he would become my right hand advisor. As such you would bow before the overly moussed pump-hairstyle as he instructs the people to “stop collaborate and listen…”

  3. By the way, I thought I clearly explained that each entry in the rectangular box below should include your name, date of birth, telephone, social security number and a breif description of any existing health conditions.

  4. Name: T Jefferson
    DOB: April 13, 1743
    Tel: 202 000 0001
    SS No: 1
    Existing health conditions: A bit stiff in the joints. In fact, very, very stiff. And short of breath too.

  5. Mr. Jefferson,

    While you have fallen just below our minimum age requirement your application has been accepted and we will give it serious consideration. There is an opening on the twig and barley gathering team for which you may possibly be suited. In the interim we would also need a list of at least three references with whom we would contact with further inquiries regarding your character. Please also include copies of your birth certificate and medical records. Thank you in advance.

    Sincerely,
    Inhumane Resources Department

  6. Josh

    I too would like to be considered for a position in your army. My job skills include loud talking in the office, flatulence without proper ownership, and neglecting to turn off the coffee pot at days end. I currently reside in Mexico with plans to move into the United States. Please send me $30000 and a visa so that I can afford to travel to your country and clear customs. It will be a pleasure to meet with you.

    Josh

  7. Josh,

    You’re just joshing me aren’t you? Nobody would be dumb enough to move to America with just $30000. Never-the-less I am sending you a private email including directions to the spot where I have buried your $30001. You are to bring a shovel and life jacket and one green M&M. Further instructions will be given upon your arrival. (In case your are wondering the extra $1 is what you are to use to purchase a bag of M&Ms. (In case you were further wondering, the green M&M must be retrieved from this purchased bag. (In case you were wondering even further, yes the M&M is significant to recruitment. (In case you were still reading, the M&M must be with you when you arrive at the special location. (In case you weren’t paying attention, you cannot purchase the M&M with any money except for the cash buried in the secret location.)))))

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