Tag Archives: How To Suck At Programming

How to Suck At Programming #739


Quickly create a patch for a single file edit using “svn diff” and then review the word wrapped command line noticing you forgot the file redirect operator “>” in the command so let’s put it in the first blank spot your eyes detect after the word “diff”… Becomes:

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How To Suck At Programming #392: Type your password into your AIM window


You’re on AIM blast. You’re having fun with your buddies, talking tech and shooting the breeze. You pack up to leave work early and run some errands. Just before signing off you can’t resist cracking one more dumb joke. “…and that’s why Budweiser employees don’t use Java!”, goes your reply to one of your AIM …

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How not to link a framework in iPhone dev


With much help from Erik, the owner of OCMock, I discovered how much of a loon I can be. Let me set the stage with a story, like I typically do on this site. You’re writing unit tests for a spankin’ new iPhone project that’s gonna shake the world if it ever releases. You’ve got …

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HTSAP #473 Thief in the night


It’s 11pm. I’ve pretended to weight train in the basement for about an hour. My wife’s out of town. The kids have had dinner and are off to bed. I’ve killed twenty minutes or so fooling with YouTube and misc web articles and I’m now off in a development zone. The world disappears around me. …

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How To Suck At Programming #678- Fat Fumbly Fingers


So you have a bajillion plugins installed in each of your forty seven thousand desktop apps you use regularly. You’ve trained yourself to use 95% of the features in all of them. There isn’t a task you can’t accomplish without a hot-key or a muse gesture. Entire applications are built with a few mashes of …

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How To Suck At Programming: Chew up your HD in a single bash call


Eventually you see the following slightly paraphrased text: Error: Command couldn’t finish because your puny 250GB could only hold so many copies of your build folder.

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How To Suck At Programming- Put a mandatory reboot at the end of your install script


You have created the slickest software this side of the east coast! People will literally chew through the concrete enclosing the office that houses your cubicle just to get their hands on your latest release. You’ve managed to find a niche that nobody else had even considered. You will become an instant success. Now all …

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How To Suck At Programming- Use your IM as a password prompt


Don’t act like it’s just me! You’ve been there! You’re hacking away feeling uber productive (I hate the word “uber” because it sounds so geeky) in a Tuesday morning. You got about 15 windows open that you meticulously manage bouncing back and forth between your email and your calendar verifying meetings at 10:30 and 2pm, …

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HTSAP #2 – Prank the wrong PC


HTSAP my acronym for the soon to be ignored serious How To Suck At Programming. Welcome to listing number 2. (Listing 1 was a couple of weeks ago.) Don’t get comfortable because I’m inconsistent with my blog posts. You’ve been planning this prank for weeks. Your buddy, the guy that works on the database team, …

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How to suck at programming – Announce a feature hot-deployed to a live server without testing


(Loosely based on a true story… as a tribute to a new WordPress blog that I find very amusing… The idea here is NOT original and I can never be that witty!) You’re the master of your domain. The one person responsible for making sure the build/deploy system is operational. Also, you’re the only developer …

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