“I know you don’t write code. I know this, man! But I’m gonna get you started, cuz it’s Friday, and you ain’t got S**t to do!”
Hello, my name is Cliff. If you are visiting here for the first or second time then you’re probably wondering what my site is all about, especially if you’re not a software developer. As a matter of fact, if you’ve never wrote a piece of software before in your life then all of the stuff here is irrelevant. Yes you can safely navigate away from my site right now. Good luck in finding whatever it was google sent you here for. You have my best wishes! Wait! Hol’ on one second! Before you go I have something to tell you. I don’t care who you are or what your profession or lifestyle is. You’ve gotta check out Juxy!
Why the heck do I need Juxy? I’m a beautician!
Thanx to the magic of Juxy you no longer need to hassle with hot curling irons and jammed clippers. Juxy styles hair professionally as if it had been cared for by twelve professionals! Just lather and rinse with you preferred shampoo then apply Juxy. You’ll be amazed at the results!
I have trouble with my finances. Can Juxy help?
Absolutely! Included in Juxy is an automated checkbook register, a personal expense calculator, and a twelve year financial planner that details where you stand today and broadcasts what your economic future will be at the end of the plan. Simply download and unzip Juxy in your “My Documents” folder and execute. Juxy was desinged for ease of installation.
I think my wife is cheating on me…
Invoke Juxy‘s hidden camera feature when you leave the house in the morning. Most users have caught a dishonest spouse within one to two business days! What’s more is how Juxy connects to a work PC over a low level P2P protocol allowing you to monitor the events of your loved one’s infidelity. Instantly see the adultery play out from different angles by enabling Juxy‘s camera rotation controls!
What about lime stains? Can Juxy handle that?
Nothing powers out tough stains on porcelain like the power of Juxy! Juxy also attacks grease with its patented formula erases tomatoe and paint discolorations and can even remove blood stains. Try Juxy today and get a money back garauntee.
Man on a NY subway: Juxy is my product of choice! I caught my girlfriend sleeping with my brother and brutally kicked the crap outta him. Then Juxy removed all traces of the assault before the authorities showed up. I’ve reccomended it to my best friend!
Woman in a supermarket: I always waste time shopping for groceries. I can never seem to hit the aisles in the right order and I end up zig-zagging all around the store looking frantic. Juxy organizes my shopping list in both priority and shopping aisle order, highlighting items that are on sale and crossing off the ones that are overpriced. Now shopping is a Joy!
Man with somewhat receding hairline: Juxy has been my product of choice for two years! When I started using I was completely bald. With one a day treatments I have almost restored my highschool yearbook look. I couldn’t have done it without Juxy!
While people all over the world are no doubt raving about this jewel I only discovered days ago I wanted to give proper credit to the tool and of course its creator, without whom I’d still be in the early stages of development. I also promised I would reccommend it to everyone I know and since I only associate with 2-4 people on a daily basis I thought’d I post a tribute here. It might not clear up your acne or kill that worrisome crabgrass in your backyard (it’s a unit test framework not the friggin’ staff of Moses) but it sure worked wonders for me. Thanx Juxy, and thank you Pavel Sher! Holla if you use Juxy…
(I give props and a “big up” to anyone who knows what movie the opening quote at the top of the article was from.)