Hello. My name is Cliff and I’ve been blogging a lot about programming. My site receives about 30-40 visitors a day on average. That’s a big jump from the 2-3 visitors I had when I first started a year ago. I believe the majority of my visitors are random web surfers looking for something that accidentally sounds like a buzz word. (Stuff like “Ravens for Roxy”, “get’cha groove on”, “Fox fires in a flash” is easily confused with what I have on my site.) Lately I have been telling more of my family about this thing I’ve been maintaining called a blog. I don’t use the word blog to describe it because some of them have never heard of a blog. I tell my family that I write a bunch of boring computer techy stuff that they won’t find interesting. I water it down, though it’s bland enough without my help because I don’t want them to come here. I’ve been trying to fight them off because they’re going to see things like “XSLT” and “Linux Kernel”. I don’t visit much so I don’t have the opportunity to explain the difference between this kernel and that one. My family is not stoopid by any means, after all you can’t come from a dumb family and be as brilliant as I am. Anyway, persistant as they are I expect that they will be visiting here from time to time. If any of them are reading this post I’m not trying to offend you. I am also not trying to defend you. I warned you. I told you it would be boring here! There’s nothing to see, just a bunch of “blah blah programming, blah, blah compiler”. You may navigate merrily away.
(Dear Cliff family, No reading below this line. *Thank you*)
Whew! Now that they’re gone I can talk freely with my egg-head homies! What’s up yall? Yeah, it’s just family stuff. You know how you feel all obligated to uphold a certain image of yourself in front of your peoples? Then they be all like, “you never used to dress that way” when you don’t wear the funny looking green shirt with the lion etched in it that you owned since 7th grade. It’s tough but I think I got rid of ’em. Yeah I thought I was gonna have to keep over explaining all of my geek stuff forever. Nah, it’s cool now. I’m sure they won’t read past the above paragraph. As a matter of fact let me mark it off with an HR tag. (There! None of them would dare read pass my horizontal rule with the polite note attached to the top!) For real though, I’ve been wanting to take my little corner of the net in a different direction. I spend a lot of time talking high level tech stuff and I was thinking maybe I should devote some topics to general purpose practical everyday computing. Stuff that anybody can read and appreciate. The whole “Can’t see nothing but the source code thing” was started to improve my writing skills while working as a way for me to share my “I know something you don’t” attitude with the world. (It’s not an attitude really, it’s a way of life. That’s because incidentally I do know something that you don’t and if you don’t subject yourself to my snide comments and abrasive humor you will never know what I know, and I know this. I know you know that I know this. But I bet you didn’t know that I knew you know, y’know? See?? You just don’t know!!!) If I can’t write about more than detailed programming tips and secrets then I haven’t lived up to my original purpose. So what does that mean? You can expect to start seeing some general purpose computing stuff on my site. It won’t be as dull as “How to recover Word documents from the Recycle bin” but at the same time it’ll be more digestable than say, “What’s the difference between TDD and BDD?” I’ll include things that everyone can benefit from like “get some speed back by disabling un-needed Windows XP services”. Yeah that topic has been done many times before by plenty of people but they aren’t as cool as I am. Keep your eye on the the URL in your address bar (Mom, the address bar is the little thing you type into when you want to go to my site. No I don’t really want you looking there, I want you looking at where it takes you!) and let the love pour in the box below…
Don’t take none of this stuff too seriously! It’s just jokes!