Download some adware and help me make money

I was looking at my pitiful blog stats this morning (like I do every morning) and I noticed a referral from my site to a place I don’t remember linking to. I followed the link which lead me to one of those pyramid deal offering sites. You know the ones where if you referr just one person who referrs just two people, who some how referr five people that referr… whatever. I started thinking, “Hmm…I need more money because right now I can’t afford that starship I was looking to buy from the Chrysler Starship dealer.” It’s always seductive when somebody throws math at you as a quick and easy way to earn cash. However, I know better. When I was much younger I tried the whole pyramid through spam mail thing (before I understood what spam was and possibly before most people understood what spam was) and I checked my mailbox each day for the magical incoming cash.

Fool me once, shame… shame on you. Fool me twice, ya’… ya’ can’t fool me again.

(Quoted from the honorable G.W.)

As bad as I need to buy that starship (and I really do need something to fire my angle brackets of destruction) I’m not making an idiot out of myself anymore. Then I read the site some more because it still sounded enticing. According to the offer,

alls yuh haff tuh do is link to our site where we market this internet search bar. People will download the search bar and as they search you make money$$$!!! It’s so easy. Write a blog today and mention our service, that’s it! Completely free, no money invested! Contact us today and say, “Hey, gimme that searchbar money making servce.” You don’t even have to say “Hey”. Just say, “Gimme that searchbar money making servce.” Then you’ll be on your way!

No thanks. I think I would make out better if I just directly asked my readers for money. There’s an idea! Would you all give me some money? I really really need to buy my starship and time is runnning out. There’s only about 3047 more years until the apocolypse and I wanna cash in while Chrysler is still offering the sale. Just send a self addressed stamped envelope with an enclosed check or money order to the following address:

Cliff the future Emperor of America
3202 Apocolypse Lane
Mountkill, NY 19108

Have your check or money order made out to: “Cliff the future Emperor of America” and I’ll post each donation here on my site. You too can contribute to the eventual overrulling of the planet. It all starts here. Be among the first to have their names posted on my new “Hall of planetary Aim” page. Thank you in advance for your donations and understanding. Peace!

2 thoughts on “Download some adware and help me make money

  1. hAr! hAr! hAr! you’re funny..alas i am also planning to tour the world before I turn to dust.
    So I can’t donate.. however I would suggest you send me some of any donations to me..5% is good enuf..then we’ll both be happy.. :B

  2. How can you plan to tour a planet that I plan to destroy? And how dare you comment without including your home address for proto-missile targetting? From this mark downward I expect each comment to include: name, address (for proto-missile targeting), SSN, the amount of money you wish to pledge, and your bank account and routing number so that pledges may be deducted accordingly. That is all.

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