ASP/VB calling Java – The conspiracy

Earlier I posted a crazy idea about embedding a servlet engine in an ASP page because somebody put a few extra scoops of Columbian beans in the coffee pot. I continued the discussion offline with one individual who warned me skull and crossbones lie ahead. He then proceeded to fill me in on all of the wonderful possibilities that exist for combining VB and Java code. (By the way, Mr. VB-To-Java-Is-Bad you lied about JACOB going both ways! Just for that I’m going cycle smashing!)

So now I go searching the net. I’m looking for any easy answer to calling Java from VB. (I do so partially because I’m still doped up on Chock Full O’ nuts and partially because I’m curious but not because I’m actually considering trying it.) What I see during my search is a conspiracy. That’s right a c-o-n …spiracy! I’ll ask some questions so you can understand where I going here. VB has been out for how long now? How successful have we gotten at porting various languages to the JVM? How many languages are supported under the .Net platform? How many languages are supported on the JVM? How complicated are some of the JVM languages? (Have you seen Rails on JRuby?) How complicated are some of the .Net languages? (RPG.Net was among the first unique .Net languages and I used to work with RPG. Trust me it’s a very tricky syntax!) Have you heard the story about Project Semplice? (I just heard about it on my search and then I see that it’s dead!) Are you seeing the same pattern that I am? There’ve been JVMs for windows, all of them were outdated and useless for any serious Java development. We can run practically every programming syntax on either Windows or the JVM, we can put a man on the moon, we can even clone a cat… but… BUT we can’t get no kinda dang decent support for VB running directly on the JVM any more than we can run a decent JVM under COM or the CLR! (and we can’t get Michael Jackson behind bars either. It doesn’t matter how many boys he gets involved with.) It’s not right I tell ya’!

I’ve been looking on and off for years now. Every solution involving VB and Java misses the point. VB6 is outdated now and it probably wouldn’t make as big of an impact if something nice came along now but it still matters. And what of VB.Net? In this day and age, We should be able to

  • Run VB legacy directly on the JVM
  • Call directly into Java from VB/VBScript/ASP legacy/ ASP.Net
  • clone another cat
  • Do all of the above without paying royalties to some third party
  • Do all of the above without worrying about memory leaks, automation errors, IDispatch mismatches, etc.
  • Unanimously sentence Michael Jackson for the mere use of the word “boy”. That includes such references as “Boy it’s hot in here”, “I would boycott Taco Bell for making people sick”, “The bouyancy of the water in the sink is making the Cornflakes float off of the dirty dishes.”

What do y’all think? Am I making something up or is there some real conspiracy going on between these two programming languages? Holla…

*(Whoops I almost fogot about iKVM! I remember it from a while back but never looked into it. Can it run a servlet engine correctly?)

5 thoughts on “ASP/VB calling Java – The conspiracy

  1. You’re an evil man. That is what you might call “doing a Clarkson“.

    Anyway, is it lying if you misremember? All I remember is the most horrendous memory leak due to the “programmer” using Jacob writing a recursive loop creating the object containing the loop every time the Java code was invoked. This turned out to be a really great way of crippling a Windows machine using only a moderate load.

    Back to the subject at hand. Apart from the fact that VB (well, at least VB6) is broken and inherently evil, you seem to be forgetting the history of the two languages. Java was Sun’s attempt to wean programmers away from Windows, and VB was Microsoft’s attempt to lock them into Windows, never to escape. It’s no real wonder that no one tried to get VB working under a JVM. I suspect it has something to do with the constitutional ban on cruel and unusual punishments.

  2. Kropotkin,

    You’re an evil man.

    … an evil man destined to become a malevolent emporer! I’m not sure what Kelly Clarkson has to do with my motorcycle crushing freny but I’m not ruling out a possible connection.

    is it lying if you misremember?
    Is it evil if I dismember a bike?

    Back to the point indeed. Since we’re all done weaning developers away from VB and since MS is all done pretending the JVM copyrights don’t exist can we get some decent integration? Can’t we all just get along? Let’s all link our Java/COM objects join hands and sing Kumbya.

  3. I’m current questioning whether or not I can fuse the two together too…looking at the date that you posted this, I guess that I’m a bit late.

    Java 3D is still in the developing stage and I am beyond frustrated (actually, I practically gave up) because of that. Sure, VB wont exactly pull off what I want but it sure as hell would be easier to place the program that Im building right now into a GUI panel…

  4. Awesome article…and so true!!! I’m looking to do the same thing right now (archaic banking customers just can’t let go of their Excel) and I am SHOCKED and AMAZED at the lack of solutions for such a seemingly simple problem. Tisk, tisk…

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