How to suck at programming #D – Build a terrible web experience

You have a home grown site devoted to delivering information. Maybe this information is news-like containing important product updates or company statuses and decisions. Maybe the information is more comical like attire articles bashing celebrities. Whatever the case, your site is rather important to people on the other side of the internet. These other-side people … Continue reading How to suck at programming #D – Build a terrible web experience

How to suck at programming #FEFE23 donate your day to a bug

It’s a holiday, everyone is partying but you got better things to do. Up early in the morning, you power on your vehicle and head to the office like the model employee you know you are. The wife queries, “Isn’t it a holiday?” to which you mumble, “I gotz deadlinez!” The looming release date of … Continue reading How to suck at programming #FEFE23 donate your day to a bug

How to suck at programming #441

You’re outside on a sunny day tethered to your mobile phone hotspot and limited data plan writing code using an editor that isn’t your main tool. Maybe you’re an Eclipse die-hard or maybe you live on Xcode for your day job. Whatever the case, you find yourself in something like a SublimeText, Notepad++, or TextMate … Continue reading How to suck at programming #441

How To Suck At Programming #392: Type your password into your AIM window

You’re on AIM blast. You’re having fun with your buddies, talking tech and shooting the breeze. You pack up to leave work early and run some errands. Just before signing off you can’t resist cracking one more dumb joke. “…and that’s why Budweiser employees don’t use Java!”, goes your reply to one of your AIM … Continue reading How To Suck At Programming #392: Type your password into your AIM window

How To Suck At Programming #473 Thief in the night

It’s 11pm. I’ve pretended to weight train in the basement for about an hour. My wife’s out of town. The kids have had dinner and are off to bed. I’ve killed twenty minutes or so fooling with YouTube and misc web articles and I’m now off in a development zone. The world disappears around me. … Continue reading How To Suck At Programming #473 Thief in the night

How To Suck At Programming #678- Fat Fumbly Fingers

So you have a bajillion plugins installed in each of your forty seven thousand desktop apps you use regularly. You’ve trained yourself to use 95% of the features in all of them. There isn’t a task you can’t accomplish without a hot-key or a muse gesture. Entire applications are built with a few mashes of … Continue reading How To Suck At Programming #678- Fat Fumbly Fingers

How To Suck At Programming- Put a mandatory reboot at the end of your install script

You have created the slickest software this side of the east coast! People will literally chew through the concrete enclosing the office that houses your cubicle just to get their hands on your latest release. You’ve managed to find a niche that nobody else had even considered. You will become an instant success. Now all … Continue reading How To Suck At Programming- Put a mandatory reboot at the end of your install script