Why can’t you just do what I think?

I’ve been struggling heavily in my life trying to get people I care about to change. These same people are trying to get me to change. Just as much as I want change from them they require change from me. Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend that opened my eyes to a few of my more interesting personality traits. Then I was pointed to this article when I came into the office this morning. Serendipty is an understatement for such a random occurrence. My point? Change is an individual’s responsibility. You cannot force it on somebody. You cannot speed it along. You cannot give it a timeline. That’s the hardest most infuriating concept to grasp. What’s more is that many of the changes you look for from another person begin and end with you. Many times I see a desparate need for change in another individual without realizing what I’m seeing is a direct reflection of myself. The most difficult thing to do is to excercise patience instead of fighting with my own image, build on my own defficiencies as another person reflects them onto me. I’m doing a terrible job at it right now. There are a few people who need me desparately right now and I’m continually letting them down. I’m all talk, especially on my blog. While I’ve made the first big step, reckognition, I stay stuck in first gear. I don’t know what’s worse, seeing your personal limitations and not being able to focus on them or fighting with others not knowing why they see you as an idiot. I stay stuck in first because I’m busy fighting my reflection in those whom I care about. When I stop fighting I get beat up terribly, scream ouch and start fighting again.

I talk as if there were something seriously wrong with me and I assure you that there isn’t. For what it’s worth, I am still the cool-as-ice soon-to-be emperor of the Earth. I’ve just been doing a lot of reflecting lately trying to figure out why only every other person is willing to bow before me. (The cupped-hand-over-mouth test reveals halitosis is not the issue while the fake straighten-the-belt and hook-the-pinky-in-the-fly trick ensures my pants are completely zipped.) While my latest ramblings here have been completely off topic killing the spirit of the site I feel it is good to expose a little bit of my inner tinkerings so that those who are truly interested (all three of my actual return readers) know who they’re messin’ with! As you can see, I’m not a deep, philisophical person. I’m just a fool with a weblog that thinks he knows something. If you know something more than I do then I challenge you to fill out the white box below.

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