Where that crazy boy been? It was like four hundred thirty nine months since the last post! Aight, maybe you’re not exactly saying that. Maybe you’re just thinking it. Maybe you’re thinking something along those terms. I’ve been heads down writing some stuff. I wrote some posts you’ll never see due to some nasty bug in wordpress software which cost me yet again two of my most magnificent pieces of writing. (When will I learn to stop hanging my life on cool techno-features like the auto save installed a while back on WP?) I’ve written some little trinkets and example apps for a lunch and learn that I’m supposed to be doing tomorrow but had to postpone and postpone again all while fighting with two user-friendly software packages Outlook and Entourage, losing the entire message body of a scheduled meeting which I thought was kinda clever. I’ve been writing some presentation slides in Keynote (the Mac clone of PowerPoint which I think is a little better than its counterpart) which I have yet to save and export as ppt files before my trial ends in days resulting in loss of two weeks worth of organizational notes and ideas. I’ve also been writing to the nice folks at codehaus regarding my about-to-expire IntelliJ Idea license which can cause me to lose local history and shelved changes from the past month. Now I’m writing about how I’m cutting all of my losses before I lose my mind. Call it hiatus, a long nap, too much time on the toilet, or whatever but I’m back.
So what’s up? I’ve been meaning to mention how I’m on Facebook now, not that anybody cares or even visits either site but I’m there. I guess you can search for me by name, Clifton Craig. My dumb picture should pop up. Speaking of Facebook, Rory’s been asking for help writing an app for Facebook. I might throw my hat in the circle and volunteer. I’d volunteer because that’s exactly what I need. One more commitment on top of GSpec, Jump, Fallframework, the three lunch and learns I’m planning at MapQuest, my promise to show Merlyn how to Groove, a planned post where I compare JMock and EasyMock (why use EasyMock when there’s JMock?), my half-baked work on my brother’s web site, an unbegun web site development for my Aunt, church, after school activities for my daughter, my recent eBay salesman venture (I raised a whopping $1.04 in revenue minus roughly $0.89 listing fees, minus the $1.04 in gas it’ll take to run to the post office, minus the 20 minutes of development time where I’m paid about $198/hr I lose for making the run nets me about -$99.89 profit!!!), and my master plan to dig myself out of debt. One more commitment would be perfect. One more big idea that will change the world if I can just do thing X.
So yes, Mr. Rory I accept your challenge to write the ultimate Facebook app. Dare you accept my challenge of refusing C# and instead writing the thing from scratch using my upcoming release of RPG-Fusion running on a mega PC with quad dual octal core Celeron processor and 18 Peta-Bytes of RAM custom designed by my army of under-paid XSLT developers from the mid 2000’s working with flat head screwdrivers and outdated copies of Michael Kay’s reference manual? (…won’t twist a screw but can drive the living bat-crap out of a nail!) Do you Mr. Blythe? Dare you? Must you? Will you? Can you? Ha! I laugh at your inequity! I make a sound of joy at your inability to embarq on my mission! Ha-ha!! My lungs fill and empty oxygen continually and rapidly resulting in whimsical noises because your cowardliness!!
Maven for the graven
As I said earlier I was working on these two rather entertaining posts regarding Maven and alluva sudden I hit save on one and they both disappear to be replaced by an error message. Not just any error message, one of those I want to entertain you while I inform you that your work will most likely never be recovered messages. You know the kind where said developer feels good about the UI he/she has designed and wants to spice it up with comedy. Not that any of us coding nerds are ever actually funny but some of us try and the result is, well… let me just say I might have actually been amused if it was someone elses work heading of into server abyss. I might have even chuckled at the wording if I could remember it exactly. I digress. More on Maven… I mean here’s what I wanted to talk about 4-5 days ago… humor and anecdotes removed:
there’s an undocumented attribute I found in the archetype descriptor. the resource tag has a boolean “filtered” attribute that lets you turn off filtering for binary resources. Then there’s another hidden gem I found a week ago. The cargo plug-in has a properties/context element (that falls under the configuration/deployer/deployables/deployable element) that allows you to set the web-application context for your deployed archive.
See? Condensed and to the point. Not nearly as much fun as half the nonsense I post here, never-the-less informative. Man, I felt like I was on a roll that day! I had a big ol’ explanation about writing code on a MacPro in the middle of the mall in the kiddie play area using public wifi and expecting performance comparable to what I get at home while random off-spring whiz back and forth at the speed of play (which is roughly between 45-69 foot steps per second) coming within centimeters of the LCD screen which I desperately tried to keep out of the line of traffic.
Wow! Look at the clock! I mean if you could look at the clock.. err it would probably say something more reasonable than what mine says right now because you’re like, in another part of the planet reading at a very different time than I am so looking at the clock doesn’t make much sense to you. It doesn’t make sense to me either because my clock says it’s waaaay past my bed time, literally. I have an analog clock without numbers. Instead it has words marking important relevant events, wakey-time, worky-time, feedme-time, potty-time, party-time, miller-time, and bedtime. Right now the little hand is like really past the bedtime mark telling me that I spent too much time filling this unvisited site with garbage when I should’ve been writing the next award winning software the likes of which mankind will never see because instead of writing said application I’m wasting more time bragging about my ability to writing techno-extravaganza and then going off on a recursive tangent describing how said extravaganza will never release because of an analog clock which doesn’t actually exist but is supposed to have clever markings like potty time and party time and doesn’t have anything to do with the Facebook app that The Sandwhich Hunter is afraid to co-author with me because of random air expulsions vibrating my vocal chords filling the room with comical noises that attempt to intimidate Mr. Poleon into submitting to my superior coding ideas for his inferior Facebook idea. Yeah, it’s getting late… Holla back if ya’ feelin’ me…