java.util.EmptyStackException

As a devoted XML/XSL developer I thought I would pay homage to the java.util.EmptyStackException, which in english terms means that you’re performing a transform with a stylesheet that’s not valid XML or otherwise building some DOM model with invalid XML…

We salute you Mr. java.util.EmptyStackException. You explain so much to us in our time of need. who else could shed such light on our troublesome transforms when things go awry. When you show we are left not in a state of panic and turmoil as most developers are when non-informative error message scroll down the screen, but in a serene state of calm. It is because we understand you java.util.EmptyStackException. We know your ways. We know your parent developer thought long and hard about how to handle you in his XML parsing. We understand that it would not be your true nature to pin point the line and column of the root cause of chaos that resulted in your owner’s algorithm’s attempt to pop from a stack that contained no closing element tag. You have no involvement in the ruckus that would be titled “stack management”, the ruckus that allows the angle-bracket parsing code know when to begin a new element, when to end the document. Yea, but how low level are you, dear java.util.EmptyStackException? Though we respect your isolation from unrelated concerns you doth appear in the midst of higher level processing rearing your head like an uninvited overweight unattractive ex-girlfriend you just can’t deal with would appear at graduation. You bring joy to our development cycles Mr. java.util.EmptyStackException. Without you much less head scratching to occur, posibbly resulting in less hair loss amongst developers ,changing the face of programming worldwide and abolishing the myth that one must be bald to work in the computer industry. Yes, where would we be without you Mr. java.util.EmptyStackException? Though I’ve figured you out on many occasions you continue to surprise me in my daily bouts to smash rectangular blocky data into pine tree-like forms that would make Santa blush. Who else can send me running to my Google search bar like you can? Who else can inspire such corny and technical jargon as that found in the current prose? Had he his “druthers” I’m sure the typical programmer would “druther” find you instead of detailed localized error text informing him that his empty xsl:variable tag lacked the proper foward slash indicator of emptiness. Go forth, Mr. java.util.EmptyStackException, causing unbounded head-scratching hair loss and unlimited hours of debugging pleasure. Spread your terse message text love to plenty other engineers! I only hope you touch them as you have inspired me. Until we meet again, Mr. java.util.EmptyStackException, fairwell…